My Diary...
[13:50 15-04-2025]
It got better since last time I wrote here. It's not the best, but I can manage. The spring break is coming and I'm planning to use it as much as I possibly can. I don't have free time to waste by just doing nothing. I mean, doing nothing sometimes can be better than doing something, but not in the situation I'm in right now. I started a new project like two days ago with my friend NeonFlames. It's not a game, I'm trying to take a break from making those. I've written a blog post about it, so if you are reading this, go check it out! Gamedev in today's world is getting harder and harder every year, at least from my experience. But what can I do about it? My only option is to try and not give up so easily. That's all for now I guess, see ya in the future.
[8:50 11-04-2025]
Uhh let's say that life isn't going the way I wanted it to.
Still, I'm trying to do my best.
I'm not feeling well, it's like I have mania and depression at the same time.
I haven't felt that way before. If you are worried about me, don't.
It probably won't change anything.
To be honest, it gets worse if I get tired. That is mostly why when I write something here, it's quite darker or just plain sad.
I don't know what to write actually. I'm just feeling tired, misunderstood, sad and irritated.
It's painful.
I have the energy to function, but not for doing anyting else. That's mostly why I haven't picked up any projects yet.
My mood can change by 180 degrees in a matter of a week or two.
If this would be the last thing I ever wrote, I'm really sorry it ended that way.
[21:50 08-04-2025]
I got an idea how to get an idea for a new game.
It's pretty simple actually, I'll just go participate in a gamejam.
When school becomes a little bit easier of course...
[16:50 08-04-2025]
I definitely have a problem with myself.
I can't pick a task and stick with it for at least 30 minutes.
I'm not sure what the problem is.
I'll try to focus more, but I don't know what to pick upon.
[14:20 08-04-2025]
It's definitely better now than the previous day.
I'm no longer irritated as I was before.
I don't know if I should write here so often.
One thing to note, I'm a bit of a perfectionist.
That probably means that I will not post everything that happens to me here.
I don't want random people to know everything about me.
That would be just plain stupid, sharing all of that info.
Anyways, I'll probably go upgrade the page or something, or start a new project.
Either way, I still need to take school into consideration.
[22:50 07-04-2025]
It was a very long day tbh.
Not like it was productive or anything, I was just existing.
Filled with emotions and racing thoughts, irritation grew.
I don't know why I still exist here, I'm feeling like an anomaly.
(note to myself, why I got poetic or shit, I'll just continue)
Sleep deprivation is kicking in, I'll go to bed soon.
Untill then, I'll prepare for what's coming in the next day or so.
Good night...
I'll update it from time to time
It can contain sensitive topics, included but not limited to: suicude thoughts, mental ilnesses, just about anything.
So if you don't want to see it, don't look here and go BACK.
